Why I Went on a 2 Hour Hike With No CGM

My diabetes philosophy in action

Aug 15, 2022

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On Friday afternoon at approximately 4:00pm, I put on my first sensor in five days. (I have been having some issues with my resupply).

And I was once again without a CGM before I even went to bed.

I could tell pretty early on that the adhesive wasn’t very strong but I thought maybe I could make it through the next ten days. Or even just the next day. The pillow on my couch had either ideas. It so thoroughly ripped off the CGM that there was no hope. My first thought was, “Shit.”

I was not happy.

I was going on a hike the next day. A hike with a new group of women I had never met at a state park that I had never been to but that I have been wanting to visit for years. It had been on my calendar for a month.

This is the part of the story where I really want to slow down because I think there might be a misconception that people who do scary things aren’t ever scared, or a little nervous, or taking a hundred deep breaths. Trust me, we are. When I posted the (spoiler alert) recap of my hike and how I did it, a half dozen people responded that they would be so anxious to do something like that.

Me too!

The emotion of anxiety did not bypass me. I was fully aware of it. My inner dialogue was the battle many of us have experienced and it went something like this:

“Should I still go?”
“Probably not.”
“Dammit, I want to go!”
“What if you go low?”
“I’ll probably be fine.”
“You’re going to annoy people. What if you have to stop?”
“So I’m just not going to go because of something that could happen?”
“Yes.”
“That doesn’t sound very reasonable.”
“I’m anxiety, I’m not supposed to be reasonable.”
“I think I could probably adjust my insulin dosing so I don’t go low.”
“Well, you’ll probably finish the hike at 400 mg/dl and feel like shit.”
“You’re not helping.”
“I’m not supposed to.”

But the truth is, I knew anxiety was wrong. I knew that I did have the knowledge to use what tools I had (my glucose monitor and insulin pump) to make necessary adjustment to make different decisions to suit the outcome I wanted.

And it’s this part of the process that I want to stress. It was not about a guaranteed certainty (I very well could still have gone low), but it was about prioritizing my values over my fears that allowed me to open myself up to the risks and to implement the decision that I thought would best serve me.

I knew that putzing around at home, angry at Edgepark, bitter that I have diabetes, and ruminating over the *other* what if (“what if it works out?”) would have been worse and completely unnecessary as I totally have the ability to adjust my food and insulin intake to match my increased sensitivity and fuel needs.

For me, knowing that I was allowing diabetes to take something is intolerable. Diabetes has already taken enough of my time, my energy, my money. It wasn’t going to take my self-care time too.

In the end, I reduced my morning breakfast dose and I reduced my basal based on years of experience with physical activity. I checked just before we went on the hike to make sure I was at a satisfactory number (and I knew what I wanted that number to be). I was prepared in case it wasn’t. And I monitored my body during the hike for signs of fatigue, weakness and imbalance so that I didn’t have to stop 17 times to check my blood sugar. In fact, I didn’t check at all. And I finished the hike at 140mg/dl.

I enjoyed the hike. I enjoyed once again proving my skills. And most of all I enjoyed that my life. Not that it’s always without fear and anxiety. But I can respond when those feelings surface so that I can make the best decisions for me.

How to Live with Diabetes

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